I remember always wanting to be a mother - in the abstract as a child - deciding I would have 4 boys and marry my current crush that I had never even kissed.
I remember wanting to be a mother in my 20's when that perfect partner to do this with failed to appear.
I remember wanting to be a mother in my 30's and seriously considering becoming a mother on my own. Considering male friends and sperm donation and trying to juggle it all to make that journey work.
I remember being on a third or fourth date when my now husband told me that he wanted children. And I remember feeling like I had won the lottery because this guy I was falling for wanted kids too. Wow.
And another 2 years or so later I got to fully realize the dream that I had nurtured through my entire life. I became a mother - to the first of two wonderful daughters.
And I get to do all the things that come with being a responsible adult - like cleaning the house, keeping the kids clean, ordering endless boxes of diapers and wipes and toothpaste and toilet paper. But I also get to be a mom to 2 little girls who think I am the c-o-o-o-o-o-lest.
I get to be the one that makes up stories at night starring them (Clara and Freya have had some epic adventures in Fairyland)
I get to be the go-between for Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.
(Yes, Clara - if you're reading this, they are real.)
Almost every day Clara writes me a new book with ever-developing plot lines and artwork. She tells me she wants to be an artist when she grows up.
Freya comes into the kitchen when I'm cleaning up after dinner and says: "Can I be with you?" And I say yes, and she carefully pulls the forks and spoons out of the dishwasher for me to put away.
I get to walk with Freya to pick up Clara at school and watch as her little hand slips out of mine and reaches to hold Clara's hand because she has missed her sister all day.
And boy do they love to snuggle on the couch. If I ever find myself distracted by the boring minutia of life and responsibility, I just have to give into the cuddle - even when it's accompanied by ice-cold bare feet that poke at me to make me laugh.
|Hara the Rabbit by Clara|
|The Lost Puppy by Clara|