Conversations with Clara. Episode 13. (Freya joins in)

Clara recently turned five years old. She had been obsessed with turning five for months and was crazily over-excited as the big day approached.  The Friday before her birthday I brought in cake for her summer camp class and  everyone sang her happy birthday.  I left and came back later that day to pick her up.

To preface, this was not her last day of camp - she still had 3 more weeks.  But apparently this was the speech she made to her class:

"I will miss all of you.  I've had a great time at camp but this is my last day...because I am five years old now and I have to start Kindergarten tomorrow."

It took some explaining on my part but happily, Clara was excited to be returning to summer camp.

A few nights ago Gerald was having a conversation with Clara about a lot of things. She had a lot of questions.  In the context of the conversation Gerald asked her:

"Clara, do you know what prayers are?"

Clara looked askance at her dad, as if to say: Seriously?

Clara replied: "Of COURSE I know.  They're the things that chase after the prey."

Freya has recently joined in with some clever conversation. The best part about having a big sister is that you pick up all your big sister's idioms in a quest to become older than your 22-month old self, while you run around chasing after said Big Sister.

I will give Freya a turn to choose what she would like to watch on TV. 

Me: Freya, what would you like to watch?

Freya, ponders very seriously, tapping her finger on her chin.

Freya: Hmmmm.  Let's see...How about....Ubble Guppies?

There is also a big poster of happy campers at the entrance to Clara's summer camp.  Freya likes to stop and look at them.  She asks me: Who's that? Who's that?  But she also talks to the poster.  She said quite seriously the other day:

"Hello.  I'm Freya." (pointed to herself, then turned to point at me) "This is my mama."

Glad the poster and I have been officially introduced.

Parachute play.

Cooling off.

Dressed as a superhero.

Clara as Big Sister.

It turns out that an unintended perk (consequence) of having two children is that the older one (Clara) is constantly teaching the littler one (Freya) to do things.

Positive examples are:

Clara has taught Freya to count to eleven.  Super cool.  Clara is currently hard at work teaching Freya the ABC's. 

Freya is also the most polite 21-month old in town because Clara has shown by example and Freya says: "No Thanks!" in place of "No!" and says "Thank-you" when handed something or helped out in some way.

Showing Freya some technology.

But Clara also encourages Freya's natural daredevil instincts.  At the playground I had been avoiding showing Freya how to climb up to the high, twisty slide meant for big kids.  Enter Clara - and all of a sudden the two sisters are whooping it up going down the big kid slide.

Come on, Freya!

First time, together. 

Second time, alone.

This has lead to early introductions to the chain-ladder climbing apparatus and the big kid swings.  (Thanks a lot, Clara.)

But in reality, despite my fears that my 21-month old has no fear, it's amazing to watch the 2 sisters love each other so much and want to be with each other.  Freya wants nothing more than to catch up to her big sister, and Clara is eager to help her try.

How to ride a motorcycle.

Big kid swings.

Just the other day I was leaving for work and Freya was upset.  She was worriedly crying but instead of walking over to me for a hug, she went over to her sister, took hold of her hand, and said: I love you, Clara.

She loves you right back, Freya. 

Lousy.

And there I was sitting on the couch next to Clara.  It was 7:45 am on a Tuesday morning and I had miraculously gotten everything done five minutes early.  Five minutes before leaving with my two kids on the 20 minute walk to Clara's school.  I wish I had been late.  I wish I hadn't sat down.

There was innocent Clara - sitting beside me - coat on, backpack on. She told me something - I can't remember what - and I looked over at Clara.  She was in profile...and as I looked at her - a bug crawled out of her braid - winked at me - and disappeared back into her hair.

Silently I collapsed inside.  I split into three personalities - first - the freaked-out mom - screaming inside my head: "LICE!  LICE! AHHHHHHHHH!"

Then there was the calm, cool., collected mom: "Lice - I can handle this. Nothing a little trip to CVS and hours of combing a crying four-year old's hair won't cure."

And lastly - the insane, unhinged mom - "What can I do here?  Maybe jump out this window?  Shave all of our heads?  Set every item Clara's head has touched in the last week on fire?"

I cycle  through these different personalities for about thiry seconds and settled on a manageable combination of Calm, Cool, and Freaked-Out Mom.

Lice are truly disgusting and I only remember the one time I had them as a kid from the perspective of a kid, who didn't have to do any of the actual work associated with getting rid of lice.

So, metaphorical sleeves rolled up, I walked the kids to CVS - purchased lice shampoo - enough for all three of us lovely ladies and Gerald, and marched home.

Total Spent: 53.00

I had the girls strip down to their undies or diapers and slathered lice-killing shampoo in their hair - and then mine.  Spent the next ten minutes trying to distract Freya from wiping her head on the couch and then bathed Clara, Freya, and then myself.

Kids dried off for a bit and I stripped all beds - took all sheets, blankets and pillows as well as Clara's recently worn clothes and hats and got them ready for the wash.

Got kids sort of dressed and put five loads of laundry in to wash - on hot.

Total spent: 7.50

Went back upstairs.  Slathered conditioner in Clara's hair and began combing with the lovely lice comb.  After each comb through her hair I wiped the comb off on some paper towel.   I tried not to notice that some of the black specks were still moving.  20 minutes later...

I combed Freya's hair - no lice.

Then I took a deep breath and combed out my hair.  Luckily, I was able to keep from going totally insane because I too, was free of lice.

Bathe in turns - Clara, Freya, Me.

Get dressed - turn over wash downstairs.  5 more loads.

Total Spent: 7.50

Waiting for prescription lice shampoo - won't be at pharmacy until 4:30.

Condition and comb through Clara's hair for second time.  Half as many lice.   Good sign.  Still shuddering.  While doing this Freya pours a liter of seltzer on the couch.  

Make a late afternoon appointment for a lice-check at Clara's doctor.  She won't be allowed to return to school without clearance from her doctor.

Bathe Clara again.  Over the day I condition and comb and bathe Clara 2 more times. No lice.

Collect 5 loads of laundry and start folding.  Somewhere in here the kids eat lunch and Freya naps.

3:00 - I get a car to take us to the doctor - I can't bear the idea of walking in the rain after the day I've had.  

Car to and from Doctor: 13.56

Get to doctor - sign in - Clara is cleared. Doc says to use prescription shampoo in a few days to make sure nothing was missed.  Pay co-pay.

Total Spent: 25.00

Got to pharmacy near my house - a coupon bring the cost of the prescription shampoo down from 50.00 to 10 dollars.   

Total Spent: 10.00

Get home.  Make dinner, Clean up. Put kids to bed, all the while scratching my head worrying about phantom lice.

So, thank you, little winking louse, for irrevocably altering the trajectory of my day.  Thank you for reminding us that the tiniest thing can change the course of our lives.  I hope you're enjoying lice heaven.

Grand Total: 116.56.

And thank you to Clara - who totally kept it together and never cried once. 

That blanket got washed too.

Post-shampoo relaxing.

San Juan or BUST!

When your best friend surprises you with a trip to Puerto Rico, what would your reaction be? Mine was astonishment coupled with excitement and then the whole wait! - kids, family, work...can I? should I? And then I went to tell my husband and his reaction was: "Are your bags packed yet?"

So the next time your best friend surprises you with a trip to Puerto Rice your immediate response is: "Yes.  My bags are already packed."

And then my bags really were packed and there I was at JFK Airport with Lauren at 8 a.m. sipping celebratory mimosas on the advent of our travel.

There is a lot I could say about San Juan. It's beautiful - the ocean, the architecture, the blue-cobbled streets. The food is delicious - ceviche, mofongo, empanada...And the drinks...oh, the drinks. But my enduring memory of this vacation is Lauren.  Getting to spend uninterrupted time with one of my most favorite people in the world was the biggest gift, and best vacation I could ask for. And what can I say - we have a lot of fun together. So thank you Lauren. It was the experience of a lifetime. 

On the plane to San Juan.

Windy walk.

Mojito meets Sangria.

Windy.

Somewhere in Old San Juan.

Place with amazing empanadas.

How we felt about being caught out in the rain.

Ont the plane back to New York City.

Hope.

Friday January 20, 2017 Americans witnessed the handing of the baton off from President Barack Obama to President...Donald Trump.  I didn't witness the inauguration.  I did not what to see the beginning of this bleak new chapter in American history. I read the transcript of President Trump's speech and died a little bit more inside.

My friend Anna had the idea weeks ago that friends should gather at her house, eat and drink, and "not watch" this changeover from a pretty great 8 years to its successor - a shadowy future. So Gerald and I packed up the kids and came over armed with wine, whiskey and appetizers.  Other kids and parents showed up. All of the kids were slightly haywire with the late start - curfew comes early for the under-4 set. But we ate delicious spaghetti and meatballs, and drank wine and talked while our kids stampeded through Anna and Anthony's apartment in a blizzard of toys and laughter. I was too busy spending time with friends to take pictures but I do wish I had one shot of the happy mayhem that was wreaked by 10 children under the age of 4.

My husband and I  left Anna's house slightly tipsy with a full bellies and two overtired, happy kids.  I also left feeling happier than I had when I arrived. I was filled with more hope than I have had since election night. Spending good time with good people makes me know that the fight isn't over.  It has only just begun.

Saturday dawned.  I had the honor of watching the Women's March in New York City.  I watched as the first protesters came up Fifth Avenue and I cried  - overwhelmed by the thousands of good people that have taken up the challenge to resist this presidency and to fight the myriad rights and freedoms that are soon to come under attack. I watched as the numbers swelled and over-ran the barricades - a wall of people from building to building marched down the avenue that is occupied by the most expensive retail stores in New York. A man standing beside me climbed up on a streetlight and said: This is what the Other 99% looks like." And he is right.  "Who wants a picture of this?  Who wants a picture of Democracy?" He offered to take the phones people passed up to him and photograph his bird's eye view.  Many took him up on it. The sea of people was energized and positive and healing. 

I've heard it said that New Yorkers live in a bubble.  We do. It is a rainbow bubble filled with everything and everyone you can imagine - we live on top of each other, and we bump elbows on the subway, and we witness millions of different dreams coming true or failing spectacularly every day.  We do all this living together - regardless of and because of our myriad differences and similarities.

Everybody should live in this bubble. Seriously.  If you lived with a million - or even a few thousand -  amazing, dynamic, and DIFFERENT people you're eyes might be opened up a little more. With the beginning of the Trump presidency I felt the bubble of my idealism pop.  Maybe over the next 4 years we can build one big bubble that we can all live in.

Christmas Rolls Around Again.

Today my  almost 16 month old apparently said: "It's Christmas time" while at home with her Dad and Clara.  She adds this to her recent repertoire of words that include: Blue, Yellow, Duck, Moo, and Hello.  With Clara in full on Santa-Christmas-Fever mode, I am hardly surprised that Freya is jumping on the Christmas-enthusiasm train.

Flashback to a couple of weeks ago, when Freya and Clara met Santa.  Their mutual enthusiasm for Santa  vanished when presented with the Real Deal - smiles were replaced instantly with steely-eyed glares that seemed to say: "We'd like to see you try something, Santa-man.  We can take you."  I don't know if the sisters discussed their plan of attack beforehand but they clearly were borrowing from last year's intimidation strategy - Don't let Santa see you smile.  

2015

2016

Clara isn't too big on posed photography.  Take this case in point - picture day at school came and went.  This is the photo I took of her before we went to said picture day.  

Clara - candid, happy - cute.

Just try to tell Clara to smile or do something specific in a photo.  Good luck.  Here are the photos I got back from picture day.  First - the portrait.  Same abstract background from my childhood.  I would like to know who matted down Clara's hair before hand - maybe Clara?  Who knows.  And that smile - what a lovely smile - somewhere between - "You told me to smile - I'm smiling." and "I'm just pretending to like you."

And for the grand finale, Clara's class photo.  Top row, center - just where her parents were always placed as the tallest kids in the class.  It's nice to see some things never change. I present to you, Clara, not looking at the photographer with her eyes closed. My one consolation is at least she's not the only one.  4 year-olds, man.

So with that, kick back, relax, and enjoy this holiday season. I know my kids are.

Halloween and November

The Fall has been a bumpy ride - beautiful weather, autumn trees, starting school, Halloween, taking ballet (Clara), talking up a storm (Freya), and an election with far reaching effects for everyone I know...but through it all there are these two little girls, bouncing along and taking it all in.

Halloween in our house is always a big deal.  It was preceded by many days of Clara dithering over costume choice.  She was pretty set on being a princess (with the occasional "ghost" or "ghost witch" thrown in) but which princess would she be and who would we all play as her supporting cast?  And make no mistake, Gerald and I were background players and Freya was  promoted to sidekick.

After much discussion Clara finally decided she would be Snow White.  Freya would be the faithful Dopey, Mom would get to be the Poison Apple, and Dad would be the Magic Mirror.  Halloween finally arrived, and it was an action packed day.  I attended a Halloween Party in Clara's Pre-K class.  There is nothing more fun than a bunch of 4 year olds clamoring to tell you about their costumes.  (It was heavy on the superheroes and princesses)

Snow White.

Dopey.

Snow White and the Poison Apple.

Magic Mirror and Dopey.

Then it was home for the Halloween party I put together for the kids in our building.  There were spooky decorations and a Monster Corn Hole game that I made.  You had to "feed the monster" to get a prize.  

Feed the monster.

Freya tries her hand at the Monster game.

The only shot of all four of us.

After the party,  it was time to trick or treat - Freya's second time but her first where she could knock on doors. As each door opened, Freya happily walked into each person's apartment, much to their chagrin.  Who needs a bowl of candy when you can go check out all those things on the coffee table?

Freya on her way out from checking out an apartment.

Freya made it through one building before Gerald whisked her off to bed.  I kept going with Clara and her friend Sara.  It was really fun and Clara is already talking about next year's costumes.

Shortly after we were hit with Election Day.  Clara was excited to be voting, as she always is, but she was also excited about "voting for  a girl" and talked a lot about Hillary Clinton.  We went to vote as a family and Clara went with each of us to fill out our ballots. Clara insisted on helping me to bubble in my vote.  It all felt so hopeful and exciting.

Going in to vote.

Post-voting lunch.

When the news came down the next day I tried to explain what happened to Clara without over burdening her with my disappointment.  She worked it over in her mind and said: "Well, can't both of them share the job?  It's good to share."

Wiser words were never spoken.

Conversations with Clara. Episode 12.

Clara's Self Portrait.

Last night Freya was asleep in her crib.  I did Clara's normal bedtime routine - some conversation and some songs.  I kissed and hugged her goodnight and a minute later over the monitor I heard: Mom...Mom?

I walk back into the kids' bedroom.

Clara: Mom. I have to ask you something.  Are the police ever going to come get me and put me in jail?

Me: Uhm. No, Clara.

Clara: What if I do something bad?

Me: Clara, little kids don't go to jail.  It's a grown up thing.

Clara: O.K. Mom,  good night.

I leave.  A couple minutes later, over the monitor: Mom...Mom? I walk back in.

Me: What is it Clara?

Clara: Are you and Dad ever going to go to jail?

Me:  No, Clara - I promise you we will never go to jail.

Clara: And you were just kidding before about calling the police?

(Clara at this point is referring to earlier in the evening when she had strawberry ice cream all over her face and I was jokingly saying: "Clara - go wipe off your face before I call the Strawberry Hobo Beard Police on you.")

Me: Clara, do you seriously think there is a Strawberry Hobo Beard police that might come get you?

Clara: (smiling) Noo.

Me: Clara - you don't need to worry.  None of us are going to jail.  

Clara: Except tigers.  Tigers go to jail because they scare people.

Me: Good night Clara.

Enjoying one of the last hot days before Fall closes in.

Sliding out of Summer and Galloping into Fall

It's been a crazy, fun, exhausting, and very hot summer. Clara loved summer camp and when she wasn't there we were cooling off in playground sprinklers with friends.  We are loving the cooler Fall weather.

Freya is officially a one year-old.    She has a confident walk that is quickly turning into a lurching sort of run that terrifies me on a regular basis.  She has a method to her madness though - this rollicking gait looks unsteady but she rarely falls down.  

Freya has a few words in her repertoire now:

Mama:  though she stubbornly refuses use it unless she's calling for me in the middle of the night.
Dada or Dadee: Much to Gerald's delight, she says this often and with gusto.
What's That?: Questions and point with a high pitched baby zeal.
Dog. Nice dog.: Surprised us too.
No no.: Freya has an interest in wires and plugs, which Clara never did. She repeats our: "No no" while she decides whether or not to let go of the cable box.
Go: This is recent.  She's trying it out.

And if you're willing to suspend all disbelief, her aunt and uncle insist she said: "Let me see that" while playing with her cousin Fred.  Let me see that, Freya.

In Clara news - Clara started Pre-K!  Big Girl School!!!   

Before we launched into the school year we took a little break at the New York State Fair.  Clara was the official "Purple Pig" Cheerleader for the pig races, and she and I took ride on a camel of all things.  When Gerald and I saw that Clara actually wanted to go through with this camel ride, I said to Gerald hopefully: "Want to ride with her?" "No thanks." was his quick response. (Thanks a lot, Gerald) One word of advice - when riding double on a one-humped camel, don't be the one who has to sit on the hump.  Clara got the good seat.

The purple cheerleader - very intent on the races.

Clyde the camel takes us for a spin.

And then it was back to the city, and back to school. Clara was a little non-plussed with the dress code - "Why is it SOOOO plain!?," so we spice up her outfits with crazy socks and hair accessories. The few days leading up to the first day Clara expressed some anxiety - new friends, a new place...but when the big day arrived she jumped right in. Every day she says she loves it and wants to go back tomorrow.  It's been a little like pulling teeth getting Clara to talk about what she's doing in school but this past Friday on the way home I asked her what she had learned in school.  She says: "I learned about science and technology.  Computer technology, medical technology, and tool technology."  Well...then.

...is officially in school!!!

This cool cat...

Freya Walks!!!

Two days after she turned 11 months, Freya decided it was time to start walking.  I was sitting on Clara's bed, placing an Amazon order on the ipad for some baby-related item I can no longer recall.  Freya was playing with some toys, when out of the corner of my eye I saw her simply start walking over to me.  6 or so wobbly steps while carrying a toy in each hand, (an empty play-doh can and a toy phone) and she arrived at her destination, my knee, with a giant, 4-toothed grin on her face.  Needless to state, it took me a moment to formulate an appropriate response.  I was gob-smacked and Freya was delighted with herself.

Freya has been confounding our expectations since she was born.  Clara very happily sat in one spot until she was 10 and a half months old, and then started crawling.  Freya has been crawling since she was seven months old.  I guess we shouldn't be surprised that's she's up and walking around. (Clara waited until the sensible age of one year and one week old to try out this whole "walking" thing.)

Clara is absolutely delighted with this turn of events and is constantly trying to get Freya to walk over to her.  Freya is quite confident walking around, hands held up in the air like she's surrendering to the police wherever she goes.  It's all ridiculous and amazing, and it totally doesn't help that Freya is tall enough to run her fingers along high surfaces - like the dining table and our console table - raking down baby no-no's onto her head every time one of us looks away for an instant.

Freya walking around town. 

Freya is also starting to talk - she says "Mama", Dada" or more often "Dadeee", and spends most of her day pointing at things and saying "What's Dat?" The way Freya follows Clara around we're positive the next word in her repertoire is going to be "Clara" or maybe "Sister." Clara likes to call her sister "Freya Beya Boo." We'll see what Freya can come up with.  

The other day Clara came home from camp and was taking a break on her bed with some Pirate's Booty cheese puffs.  Freya crawled into their room to play on the floor.  I heard Clara talking to Freya and then saying 'Here, Freya." Clara called out to me: "Mom, I'm sharing some puffs with Freya!" A few minutes later I could hear them playing together as I walked around tidying up.  Clara's conversation punctuated by Freya's shrieks of laughter was music to my ears.

Sisters.

Growing Up, Moving Up, Standing Up.

Clara has had an action packed June. For months Clara has been talking about being a Flower Girl in her Aunt Margaret's wedding, and finally the day arrived.  Clara an I had many discussions about what an important job she had at her aunt's wedding.  We discussed dresses and shoes and when Clara decided she wanted to wear a red dress I told her: Margaret's the boss of this wedding so what she says goes. Clara got to choose between two pink dresses and she (predictably) chose the one with more sparkles.  Knowing what a flower girl does in the abstract is a lot different then the reality.  At the wedding rehearsal Clara was frozen by the enormity of her task.  She refused to walk by herself and it was quickly decided that Gerald would walk with her during the ceremony.

Gerald giving worried Clara a hug at the wedding rehearsal..

The next day Clara seemed thrilled by everything.  We visited the bride and the bridesmaids while they were getting ready.  I did not have high hopes that Clara would consent to having her hair and makeup done but after she watched the other women getting prettied up she decided that they all looked like Disney princesses and she wanted to look like one too.  Bridesmaid Jess looked like Aurora to her and her Aunt Margaret was Cinderella. Clara wanted in on that action. While we all looked on Clara got her hair done and then her makeup.  The makeup artist showed Clara a palette of lipsticks and asked her to choose one.  Clara authoritatively chose the most crimson shade of red she could find.   No pastel pink for this little girl.  All prettied up, Clara was ready to go.

Clara and the crimson lipstick.

Showing us her make up.

The bridal party looks on.

At the wedding, Clara went off with her Dad to get ready for "the show," as she called it.  Freya and I waited with the wedding guests for it all to start.  You would never know that less then 24 hours earlier Clara had been scared and shy.  She was the most professional and beautiful flower girl her totally unbiased mother had ever seen.

Doing her "flower girl" thing like a pro.

Just a few weeks later, Clara had her Moving Up ceremony at school.  Back in the day, we only had graduations when we left schools...so I can vividly recall my 8th grade graduation, my high school graduation, and my college graduation.  These days, you start graduating at 3 years old and you call it "Moving Up."  I am not ashamed to admit I teared up a little as Clara's class took the stage to sing two songs.  Clara took center stage and sang her heart out. No trace of butterflies for this little girl.  She was totally into it.

Waving to her parents as she takes the stage, 

Singing.

Clapping choreography.

Hugging choreography.

After the songs each child was called onto the stage  one by one to walk over a small mountain and "move up" to next year.  Needless to state, Clara nailed it.

Moving up.

In the Fall Clara starts at a new school in Pre-Kindergarten.  The events of June have had a lasting impact on Clara.  It's incredible to watch this little person take on every new challenge life throws her way.  

In other news, Freya is ten months old and almost walking, much to her parents dismay (I mean delight!)  She has 2 little teeth and her favorite activities are cruising all over the apartment, crawling as fast as lightning and saying:  "DaDAdadadadaDa."  She would also like to do whatever Clara is doing at any given moment and Clara usually obliges.

At the playground.

Taking a breather after chasing this 18 month old all over the library.

Watching the wedding rehearsal.

Thinking about walking over to the coffee table.