Conversations with Clara...Movie Night.

One of the best parts of having an older kid is introducing them to movies you loved as a kid.  The first one I tried with Clara was Labyrinth, and it went over like gangbusters.  Come on - strong protagonist young girl goes up against and defeats the Goblin King to save her baby brother? And the Goblin King is David Bowie?  Clara was going to love it - and she did and has now watched it ten times.

The other night we watched The Neverending Story.  Clara had some critiques about this movie from the beginning.

For example - when introduced to the Rock-eater, Tiny and his Racing Snail, and the Night-hob and his flying Bat,  Clara asked: Why are all the people in Fantasia so ugly?  Isn't this a fantasy?

Clara was also immediately impressed by the bravery of the child Atreyu. (I fast forwarded through the whole horse dying in the swamp part when Clara was in the bathroom)   I started to talk to her about how much I like Atreyu as a character, and she held up her hand to correct me.

Clara: "Uhm...mom...that's a girl."

Me: No - Atreyu is a boy."

Clara: No, she's a girl.

Clara never wavered on this point - never mind that Atreyu runs around most of the movie without a shirt on, only a loose vest.  I guess ladies in Fantasia have different ideas about modesty...and nipple coverage.

Clara also had some harsh words to say about the title of the film.  

Clara: Why is it called that? Where is the Neverending Story?  What does that even mean?  This movie should be called "The Wolf in Fantasia's Fight" or "The Nothing."

All strong points, Clara.

In the end, though, Clara absolutely loved the movie which made the little girl in me dance for joy.

I'm just waiting for Clara to be old enough for The Dark Crystal and The Last Starfighter. And of course, Newsies.

Clara teaching Freya how to Hide in "Hide and Seek"

Conversations with Clara. Episode 13. (Freya joins in)

Clara recently turned five years old. She had been obsessed with turning five for months and was crazily over-excited as the big day approached.  The Friday before her birthday I brought in cake for her summer camp class and  everyone sang her happy birthday.  I left and came back later that day to pick her up.

To preface, this was not her last day of camp - she still had 3 more weeks.  But apparently this was the speech she made to her class:

"I will miss all of you.  I've had a great time at camp but this is my last day...because I am five years old now and I have to start Kindergarten tomorrow."

It took some explaining on my part but happily, Clara was excited to be returning to summer camp.

A few nights ago Gerald was having a conversation with Clara about a lot of things. She had a lot of questions.  In the context of the conversation Gerald asked her:

"Clara, do you know what prayers are?"

Clara looked askance at her dad, as if to say: Seriously?

Clara replied: "Of COURSE I know.  They're the things that chase after the prey."

Freya has recently joined in with some clever conversation. The best part about having a big sister is that you pick up all your big sister's idioms in a quest to become older than your 22-month old self, while you run around chasing after said Big Sister.

I will give Freya a turn to choose what she would like to watch on TV. 

Me: Freya, what would you like to watch?

Freya, ponders very seriously, tapping her finger on her chin.

Freya: Hmmmm.  Let's see...How about....Ubble Guppies?

There is also a big poster of happy campers at the entrance to Clara's summer camp.  Freya likes to stop and look at them.  She asks me: Who's that? Who's that?  But she also talks to the poster.  She said quite seriously the other day:

"Hello.  I'm Freya." (pointed to herself, then turned to point at me) "This is my mama."

Glad the poster and I have been officially introduced.

Parachute play.

Cooling off.

Dressed as a superhero.

Conversations with Clara. Episode 12.

Clara's Self Portrait.

Last night Freya was asleep in her crib.  I did Clara's normal bedtime routine - some conversation and some songs.  I kissed and hugged her goodnight and a minute later over the monitor I heard: Mom...Mom?

I walk back into the kids' bedroom.

Clara: Mom. I have to ask you something.  Are the police ever going to come get me and put me in jail?

Me: Uhm. No, Clara.

Clara: What if I do something bad?

Me: Clara, little kids don't go to jail.  It's a grown up thing.

Clara: O.K. Mom,  good night.

I leave.  A couple minutes later, over the monitor: Mom...Mom? I walk back in.

Me: What is it Clara?

Clara: Are you and Dad ever going to go to jail?

Me:  No, Clara - I promise you we will never go to jail.

Clara: And you were just kidding before about calling the police?

(Clara at this point is referring to earlier in the evening when she had strawberry ice cream all over her face and I was jokingly saying: "Clara - go wipe off your face before I call the Strawberry Hobo Beard Police on you.")

Me: Clara, do you seriously think there is a Strawberry Hobo Beard police that might come get you?

Clara: (smiling) Noo.

Me: Clara - you don't need to worry.  None of us are going to jail.  

Clara: Except tigers.  Tigers go to jail because they scare people.

Me: Good night Clara.

Enjoying one of the last hot days before Fall closes in.

First vacation with kids, Bathroom renovation, and some recent Conversations with Clara.

When we found out I was pregnant with our second child we decided it was time to go big or go home.  Our falling apart bathroom...literally falling apart....needed to be renovated before we became a family of four and GOSHDARNIT, we needed a vacation.  With the exception of a few visits to friends and family, our last vacation had been when I was pregnant with Clara, 3 years prior.

So if your one bathroom needs a gut renovation and you need to be out of the apartment for it, why not go to DISNEYWORLD!  We were pretending we were rich from a recent sale of Gerald's old apartment so we booked a 6 day trip to Florida with the rest of Gerald's immediate family.

Now I have never been to Disney, or Florida for that matter, and neither had my sister in law's fiance. But the rest of the clan had been to Disney on many, many vacations over the years.  I started hearing things like "We're having dinner in France on Thursday, and we're going to Mexico for lunch." (what?) "We're staying in Old Key West instead of Fort Wilderness." (??) "We couldn't book a breakfast with Cinderella." (thankfully Clara is young enough not to care, as I wiped away a stray tear.)

I don't know which of us was more excited.

Before I knew it everything was booked, reserved, and we were on a plane ride (Clara's first) to Orlando. Over our trip we visited every park at Disney and Universal Studios.  We averaged 6 miles of walking a day, and Clara decided vacation was just too exciting to take naps.  Clara was tall enough for most of the rides - clocking in at an amazing 39.5 inches for 2.5 years old.  She swam in a pool for the first time and fell in love with swimming.  Her take away advice from It's A Small World  after seeing the Hawaiian dancers doing the hula in bonfires.was: "Mama, Dada...don't dance in the fire."  

Spinning Teacups Ride

She requested a second time around on only two rides - the Spinning Teacups ride which she found hilarious, and bizarrely, the still chugging along animatronic E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial Ride.  She loved flying on the bicycles and waving and talking to all the little E.T. aliens she had just saved from extinction on the Green Planet.  She thought the Haunted Mansion was "spooky" and laughed at the dark. She rode the Hippogriff Roller Coaster in Hogsmeade (an adult ride), with her Aunt Margaret, and her only comment at the top of the hill was "Wow, this is high."  While she rode the roller coaster, Gerald and I tried Butterbeer...which was actually pretty gross but made for a nice photo op.

Butterbeer mustaches.

She also loved the Dumbo Ride which has ingeniously installed a Dumbo's Circus Playground for kids in lieu of making kids wait on line while you wait to actually go on the ride.  All the kids were vying to sit in this fire engine.  Clara finally got a turn with this little boy.  He was pretending to drive when his mother said "Johnny, it's our turn to go on the ride."  The little boy cried out "SON OF A BITCH!" clearly irritated about leaving the fire engine, jumped up, and ran away to join his mother. Totally surreal. Clara happily shifted over to the driver's seat.

Right before the outburst.

Fingerbomb high-five.

Clara kept it together until the final day when all the new experiences finally caught up to her.  We took her to Hollywood Studios where she was impressed but exhausted by the Little Mermaid Show, Muppets 3D,  and the Disney Jr. Live show.  Given any chance to rest she promptly threw herself down on the floor and refused to stand up. (I had sympathy because I felt the same way.)  This floor launching continued at the airport where we found our flight had been delayed an hour. and our bathroom renovation wasn't complete.  On the flight Clara moaned quietly in her car seat exhausted past all reason until she suddenly, without warning, fell asleep, head lolling and drooling.

First fireworks...at Epcot.

We arrived in NYC at 10:30 at night and found ourselves at my mother's vacant apartment, who was conveniently on vacation herself.  We lived out of our vacation suitcase for four days before I finally got to set eyes on my beautiful new bathroom. Back in our apartment and back into the swing of things, Clara continues to make us laugh with her new witticisms.

Last night, Gerald made milkshakes for dessert as a treat.  Clara had never had one and really, really loved it.  After drinking it up, she ran around the apartment shrieking and laughing for twenty minutes.  Shortly after she flopped down on the couch and said: "Mama, My brains are very heavy with all the sugar-milk. That means I need to take a nap."

Clara continues to pitch "Sister Grandma" as the name for her new sister.  My friend who is pregnant with a boy asked Clara for name suggestions the other day when she was over.  Clara thought seriously for a moment, then offered up: French Fry Girly" as an appropriate name.  

Next steps - big girl bed for Clara, Clara's 3rd birthday, and the arrival of our second daughter at the end of summer.  Can't wait to meet you, Sister Grandma.

Conversations with Clara. Episode 10.

Clara is closing in on her 3rd birthday and she has a lot to say.  Some recent interactions:

Riding the elevator to the basement.

CLARA: Who are you calling, Mama?

ME: (no phone in hand) No one.  Who are you calling?

CLARA: Yellow.

ME:  Who's Yellow?

CLARA: (coy) He's my boyfriend. (pause) He's coming to my birthday party.

I look forward to meeting the mysterious Yellow.

Early morning, I am sitting on the sofa trying to enjoy a cup of coffee.  Clara wants me to play with her and her entreaties quickly escalate as she slaps me on the face with a peremptory: "Play with me NOW, MAMA!."

This not being the best time of day to get slapped in the face...(when is it ever, really?) I order her to her room and tell her to play by herself because I don't like being hit.  My voice was raised, Clara left.

Three minutes later Clara returns quietly to the living room.

CLARA: Would you like to hear a song, Mama?

ME: That would be nice.

CLARA: (singing a song from Daniel Tiger) If you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath (takes a deep breath) and count to four. (pause, Clara contemplates me for a moment)  Now you should sing that song, Mama.

I thought Daniel Tiger's songs about social interaction were for the toddlers...clearly, Clara feels differently.

Conversations with Clara. Episode Nine.

Here are some of Clara's recent words of wisdom.

The other night, Clara is running around the laundry room playing a game she calls: "Stop.Go."  It involves her running around like a maniac and stopping when I say "Stop." and running again when I say "Go. " Clara thinks this is hilarious.

CLARA: (out of breath) Ok, Mama. Now it's your turn.  You run around and I'll say stop.

ME:  No, Clara.  I think I'll just sit here.

Clara, shakes her head slowly and walks over.  She climbs up onto the chair next to me and pats my knee.

CLARA:  Ok...let's talk about this.

*******

Or last night, the wonderfully potty trained Clara pooped in her overnight diaper while trying to fall asleep.  I change her diaper.

CLARA: UGGGGH!  What's that smell!!!???

ME:  That's your poop.  It's a lot less smelly when it goes in the potty, right?

CLARA:  YES!

Clara thinks for a minute while I finish changing her.

CLARA:  Mama...don't ever eat poop.

ME:  Good advice.

CLARA: Also, don't ever drink Wee wee.

ME:  Also good advice.

Clara clambers into her crib, and I try not to think what event may have prompted this sage advice.

Conversations with Clara...Episode 8.

Kicking back after lunch.

Over the past few weeks, Clara and by extension, her parents, have experienced the harrowing process known as potty training.  All I have to say about this period in our lives is: 1) I have never uttered the words  "poop" and "pee-pee" so many times in my life.  And 2) bribe your children with M and M's.

That being said, Clara has said some incredibly funny things recently, which helps you in the dark times when you're cleaning poop off her elbow and wondering how it got there.

Here are some excerpts:

CLARA: Let's read the magazine about poop.

(referring to the book, Everyone Poops.)

Gerald has managed to hold onto one shred of privacy by going to the bathroom with the door closed.  Clara does not like this turn of events, and often waits outside the door.

The other night, standing outside the door to the bathroom.

                                               CLARA: (eyes light up) I hear Pee-Pee!

                                               ME: (walking by) That's right.

                                               CLARA:  Dad is a big girl.

Clara, looking up at a guitar hanging on the wall out of her reach at a friend's house.  She considers ways to retrieve it, then gives up and lies down on the floor, dejected.

                                               CLARA: It's just no use...

Clara also takes occasional forays into more philosophical realms.

                                               CLARA: I'm little. You're big, Mama,  And Dada's big.
                                               I am small but one day I will be big.

Clara, discussing nighttime, or just stalling before bedtime.

                                               CLARA: Mama, it's not sunny out.  It's moony.

With her friends, (from left to right) LaLa, Meow Meow, and Magic.

Conversations with Clara. Episode Six.

Yesterday Clara and I were walking over to have a play date with her friends, Charlie and Marek.  I let her out of the stroller a few blocks early so she could run around a little.

ME: You know Clara, you look pretty cute.

CLARA: NO! Mama! I'm NOT pretty cute.

ME: Yeah, then what are you?

CLARA:  I'm Cr-a-a-zy!

I laugh.  Clara giggles merrily.

Two year olds.

Conversations with Clara. Episode Five.

Clara is closing in on being two and a half years old, she's not quite there yet but when you ask her how old she is she answers: "Two and a half!", or occasionally "I'm three!"

She also has a few new sayings, go-to expressions if you will.

ME: Clara, would you like to put your shoes on?

CLARA: I don't care. 

ME: Clara, I have to strap you into the stroller so you don't fall out.

CLARA: Mama, leave me alone. Don't touch me!

or:

ME: Clara, want to see what's in this piece of  junk mail we just got out of the mailbox?

CLARA: Oh YES!  I'M SO EXCITED!

and periodically throughout the day, apropos of nothing...

CLARA: It's nice to see you, Mama. 

and

CLARA: My hair is beautiful.

A few days ago my friend Travis came over with his 2 daughters - Charlie(2 and a half) and Sylvie (one month).  Later that day, long after they left, Clara and I were chatting about the playdate.

ME: Clara, did you have a nice time with Charlie?

CLARA: Yeah!

ME:  Do you remember the baby's name?

CLARA: Sylvie!

ME: Do you remember the dad's name?

CLARA: (looking at me askance) Gerald.

ME: (laughs out loud)  Well that's true.

a few minutes later, as I was changing Clara...

CLARA: (smiles at me) Gerald.  (beat.) I'm so funny, Mama.

I love conversing with two year olds.

Clara, about to suggest a tea party.

Conversations with Clara. Episode Four.

Clara is officially a two year old, and by that I mean she has decided that she is totally self sufficient and independent (thank you,very much), unless of course she has a boo-boo or needs help, which she asks for by saying: "Help you?  Help you?"

Here are some recent interactions:

Clara (doing anything she has asked help with and deciding suddenly and without warning that she no longer needs help)

"I DO it.  Don't touch me! Stop touching me."

Or this: 

After a protracted bartering session where we were discussing a long walk to visit friends.  She wanted to walk the whole way herself, I countered with walking part of the way and being in the stroller part of the way.  Clara ran to the front door - turned and looked at me - arms wrapped defiantly around her chest and said:

"I don't like it, Mama. I'm NOT kidding!"

Or this:

She only gets a binky at nap time or at night.  It used to be any old binky would do.  Now Clara has her favorites, and if I try to slip in a new one she says:

"Not that binky, old binky."

And she is no longer content to let me choose a binky but instead asks permission to look through the binky bowl.  

"Mama, let me pick one. I pick one."

Or the other day - she held out her hand to me, clearly expecting me to do something.  So I took her hand.  Clara nodded her head and said:

"Nice to meet you."

She is so sure of herself and most of the time Gerald and I manage to keep the smiles off our faces and take our independent little girl's suggestions...very seriously.

Conversations with Clara. Episode Three.

Spring is here and not a moment too soon.  After a winter spent trapped in the house bdue to frigid temperatures and endless mounds of dirty snow that strollers could not traverse, Clara and I were extremely stir crazy.  

So now we get to spend hours in Fort Tryon Park exploring and of course, talking.

Clara is fascinated by the family of groundhogs that live in the park.  And they are very cute.  Whenever we go into the park she starts walking around on various lawns calling out: "Hog...hog, where are you?" When she spots one she shrieks in delight which has the added effect of making the wild animal she should not approach scamper into the bracken.

The other day we were walking to the playground. With no groundhogs in sight, Clara focused on the plentiful dogs being walked by their owners.

CLARA: (points out a dog) Dog. (pause) Woof Woof. (pause...chuckles heartily to herself, then turns to look at me.) It's funny.

Clearly, Clara was trying out her comedy chops.  Possibly because her joke didn't get the proper response from me, she tried it out again, verbatim, when the next dog came her way.  This time I laughed with her. 

It's funny.

Conversations with Clara. Episode Two.

Last night after we finished dinner, Clara decided to climb up on one of the dining room chairs and sit down.

Clara: Baa baa sheep?

(This is Clara asking me to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep)

I thought I'd try something new since Clara is sometimes a little shy to sing with someone else.  So I started singing and paused at intervals to see what she would do.

Me: Baa baa black sheep. (intentional pause)

Clara: (looks at me for a beat) Have any woo.

Me: Yes sir. Yes sir.

Clara: (shorter pause) Three bag full.

Me: (waits)

Clara. (pause) Master. (pause) Dame.

Me: And one for the little girl who lives down the lane.

Clara: Baa baa black sheep.

Me: Have you any wool...yes sir, yes sir,

Clara and Me: Three bags full.

Needless to state, this was met by a rousing round of applause from me and Gerald.  Clara graciously joined in and clapped for herself.

Clara, milk and water in hand, about to slide.

Conversations with Clara. Episode One.

Clara loves salad - especially cucumbers.  And she calls cucumbers: pickles.   The other night I made a salad with cucumber, tomato, cilantro, lettuce and some salad dressing.

Seeking to participate in the dinner conversation, Clara delicately picked up a piece of cilantro that was covering one of her cucumber slices.

With a smile dancing on her lips she said: "Pickle hiding."

Gerald and I laughed and agreed - the pickle was hiding.

I then encouraged Clara to try the piece of cilantro that had so cleverly hid the "pickle." 

She carefully placed the cilantro in her mouth.  Made a  face, pulled it out and exclaimed: "Not good."