Conversations with Clara. Episode Five.

Clara is closing in on being two and a half years old, she's not quite there yet but when you ask her how old she is she answers: "Two and a half!", or occasionally "I'm three!"

She also has a few new sayings, go-to expressions if you will.

ME: Clara, would you like to put your shoes on?

CLARA: I don't care. 

ME: Clara, I have to strap you into the stroller so you don't fall out.

CLARA: Mama, leave me alone. Don't touch me!

or:

ME: Clara, want to see what's in this piece of  junk mail we just got out of the mailbox?

CLARA: Oh YES!  I'M SO EXCITED!

and periodically throughout the day, apropos of nothing...

CLARA: It's nice to see you, Mama. 

and

CLARA: My hair is beautiful.

A few days ago my friend Travis came over with his 2 daughters - Charlie(2 and a half) and Sylvie (one month).  Later that day, long after they left, Clara and I were chatting about the playdate.

ME: Clara, did you have a nice time with Charlie?

CLARA: Yeah!

ME:  Do you remember the baby's name?

CLARA: Sylvie!

ME: Do you remember the dad's name?

CLARA: (looking at me askance) Gerald.

ME: (laughs out loud)  Well that's true.

a few minutes later, as I was changing Clara...

CLARA: (smiles at me) Gerald.  (beat.) I'm so funny, Mama.

I love conversing with two year olds.

Clara, about to suggest a tea party.

Adventure Clara

Clara is into trying out everything these days and asking a lot of questions.  If she sees me doing something she quickly says: "I try." and tries to do it herself.

A few nights ago, I flipped over our leather swivel chair to tighten some of the bolts.  Clara saw the crescent wrench and said: "I try."  After watching me tighten one bolt, she went in with the wrench and actually tried to tighten bolts.

That same day, in the playground she decided to try going down the slide feet first on her stomach while whooping in delight.  And then tried face first on her stomach but got her hands caught under her chest and did not whoop in delight - she cried - but bravely went and tried again.  That night in the bath she discovered she could flip over in the water - almost submerging her face - and float.  She kept saying: "Oooooooooh" I think to hear how her voice sounded underwater.

She is also constantly trying to figure things out.  Like crawling through this tube at the zoo.  First she had to see that Gerald was on the other end - now she bravely scrambles through on her own.

At the playground she spent 20 minutes figuring out how to pry up loose soil from the ground and then make tiny piles of dirt. She did not ask for my help, just worked at it intensely on her own. I love this exploration. I loved digging for worms as a child - I can't wait to show her how to do that.

She can also be a bit of a minx.  This is the calm before the storm at a recent demonstration art class.  Clara probably drew for thirty seconds before she picked up the glue sticks and ran around evading my grasp while eating the glue stick like it was a popsicle.

She is determined to understand everything.  Up until this week, Gerald has managed to cling to some tattered shreds of privacy by insisting on closing the bathroom door while he is in there.  I gave bathroom privacy months ago.  I am used to Clara pushing back the  curtain peremptorily while I shower - her gleaming mischievous eyes dancing  while she throws tiny toys into the tub at my feet.

Somehow this past week Clara muscled herself into the bathroom while Gerald was in there.  He realized she was in there when he heard her piping little voice say:"Pee Pee Stand Up."  

As the last vestiges of his  privacy blew away on the wind, Gerald was impressed by Clara's acumen. 

Purple and Turtle

Clara is full of energy and getting into everything which is why I was dreading the idea of being shut inside all winter with a toddler bouncing off the walls.  Going anywhere in the freezing cold is daunting with a small child and it turns out there are not a lot of structured activities or classes for under-2's.

Over the Spring, Summer and Fall I organized a meetup in the park for local moms with babies. We have a local yahoo group for parents and I posted there to see who might show up. I got a nice response - some became regulars, others drop-ins.  We spread out blankets and brought some toys to share.  It was a great way to meet other parents and have some adult conversation while the babies played.  I also thought it really helped the babies.  I could see Clara watching older kids who had mastered things she hadn't yet, and I could almost see the brain synapses firing.    Inevitably she would start doing something she had watched another baby do a week or so later.

But with the cold weather closing in around us, what could be done?  Along with a few other moms we have organized a weekly toddler playtime once a week in the Inwood Library Children's room.  We sing some songs, read some books and watch the toddlers play.  It is parent run - we came in and cleaned all the toys.  We set up the toys and clean up at the end of the hour.  But it's a huge success and Clara loves it.

This past Friday she amazed me by picking up a turtle figurine, bringing it to me and saying: "Turtle."  Then she picked up a dinosaur with purple spots, pointed to one of the spots and said: "Purple."  She smiled after each one, knowing she was rolling out something new for her Mommy. Just a little impressed with herself - and so she should be.  I applauded.

I think there should be more activities like this for children under two.  And not necessarily classes that cost money.  All of us parents want our children to grow and challenge themselves to do more. Organize something - you'll be surprised how many people show up.

Clara Meets A Cactus

Clara spends every day exploring the world around her.  She is bold and brave and gives me heart palpitations when she tries to climb up the crumbling cement stairs in the courtyard of my building. She has a very fuzzy sense of depth perception and seems to think walking off the edge of the slide works as well as sitting on her butt and going down.  It's all terrifying - but through it all I am trying to limit what I actually say no to.  For example - I say "No" when Clara reaches up and tries to fiddle with the oven burners.  I explain about it being hot and that she will get burned but I do not allow her to play with the oven knobs.  That's a firm "no."

I don't mind if she chews on sticks or leaves in the park but I do take away unfamiliar berries, small rocks, and pieces of garbage which she seems to want to chew on with equal enthusiasm.  I watch her carefully while she explores her environs.  I let her lead the way...unless she is leading us off the edge of a cliff or into the street.

Sometimes this relaxed parenting style bites me in the ass.  Take the other day.  I was showing Clara the herbs in our co-op's garden.  Anyone who lives in the building can take a few clippings of mint, rosemary, basil, oregano, or thyme to cook with.  I was bruising the leaves so Clara could smell the different herbs.  And then Clara's attention was inexplicably diverted to the one plant I didn't want her to touch - a cactus.  She squeezed past three pots and a dangling prism I hoped in vain would distract her to get to the dumpy looking cactus.  

ME: "Clara - don't touch that it will hurt - "

I should have saved my breath.  She reached down and snapped off a plump piece of cactus and held it out to me.

ME: "Clara - give that to me."

CLARA: "Hee..."

ME: "No really...give it to me"

CLARA"  "Hee hee..."

Laughing, she squeezed past the pots and toddled away, cactus in hand.  Luckily she quickly dropped the cactus in favor of a more interesting, much more squishy rotting tomato she found.

I wiped off her smelly tomato hands and picked her up.  She seemed unhurt and happy. The Cactus gods were smiling down on us.This was great.  Or so it seemed until I put Clara down and discovered a bunch of almost invisible cactus thorns up and down my arm.  The upside was almost all of the barbs seemed to have transferred themselves to my skin.  The downside - cactus barbs hurt and looking closely at Clara's hands I saw she still had some in her.

I carried her upstairs to our bathroom and proceeded to get the barbs out of her hand with  tweezers.  Tears pouring down her face, Clara looked like a bereft Hummell Doll. She was very mad at me, though she recovered quickly. 

I am torn between giving Clara the freedom to explore and trying to protect her.  Has she learned not to touch thorny plants?  Probably not. What have I learned?  Get to the cactus first.

No, Mom - I don't need your help.

Clara is 14 months.  She is a steady walker and very coordinated.  But she is still only 14 months.

A few days ago I put her on a bouncer-car thing in our toddler playground.  I showed her how to hold on and rocked it back and forth.  She like it but seemed worried and wanted to get off.

Today, she walked right over to it.

Me: "Clara, would you like to try this?"

Clara: "Esh."

I picked her up.  She immediately grabbed the handles.  I began to rock her back and forth and she yelled loudly and batted my hands away. I let go to see what would happen.  Would she fall?  Would she get scared?

Nope.  She grabbed on and rocked herself wildly back and forth, laughing her head off.  I even had time to snap a picture.  Look how her feet don't even come close to reaching the footrests.

I am amazed how independent she is becoming.